It's become strangely easy for me to cut ties with people in the past year or two. I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing. Of all the people I've come to know this far in my life, I feel like only a small fraction were really even worth getting to know. Most friendships formed were temporary and meaningless. It feels almost good to get rid of the ones that don't matter. Like I don't even get that "ripping the band-aid off" initial sting anymore. It's like just one of those things I've learned through out the years: People come and people go. 'nuff said.
And I don't think I know how to trust people anymore. I don't really trust anyone with the exception of a select few. I don't really consider this bad, but simply a necessary thing.
And also, it's strange to see people you once knew becoming something ugly. I feel like the majority of people I once knew have become alcoholics and/or drug addicts. I condone of having fun every once in a while, but on a nightly basis it becomes a little excessive and very destructive. It's sad to see these people waste their potential. The truly sad part is how they see this life style as a positive thing and as something worth praising when in reality, they are going nowhere with their lives. It's upsetting to me. And I feel like I almost got sucked into this fantasy world of forever partying and so called "fun". There comes a time when we all have to grow up, but I suppose some people never do.
I don't want to throw my life away. I want to enjoy life. I want to be happy. And I've realized, most of these people don't even seem happy.
I don't know. I know I feel the happiest when I'm being productive, making things, creating. It's like I could erase all these people from my past and feel nothing. Is that bad? I could've gone without knowing a lot of people. It almost feels like a cleansing experience to get rid of the people who don't matter. I want to surround myself with good people who are actually worth knowing. I feel like it's time for a Facebook friend purge. A delete button frenzy. Congrats if you make the cut.
In other news........
I got new boots. It was my Christmas present to me. :)
And Someone commissioned this painting from me! It's my first sold painting. Becca Kinkoph original! haha :)
And I also painted this! Just for fun though, it wasn't sold.