It's become strangely easy for me to cut ties with people in the past year or two. I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing. Of all the people I've come to know this far in my life, I feel like only a small fraction were really even worth getting to know. Most friendships formed were temporary and meaningless. It feels almost good to get rid of the ones that don't matter. Like I don't even get that "ripping the band-aid off" initial sting anymore. It's like just one of those things I've learned through out the years: People come and people go. 'nuff said.
And I don't think I know how to trust people anymore. I don't really trust anyone with the exception of a select few. I don't really consider this bad, but simply a necessary thing.
And also, it's strange to see people you once knew becoming something ugly. I feel like the majority of people I once knew have become alcoholics and/or drug addicts. I condone of having fun every once in a while, but on a nightly basis it becomes a little excessive and very destructive. It's sad to see these people waste their potential. The truly sad part is how they see this life style as a positive thing and as something worth praising when in reality, they are going nowhere with their lives. It's upsetting to me. And I feel like I almost got sucked into this fantasy world of forever partying and so called "fun". There comes a time when we all have to grow up, but I suppose some people never do.
I don't want to throw my life away. I want to enjoy life. I want to be happy. And I've realized, most of these people don't even seem happy.
I don't know. I know I feel the happiest when I'm being productive, making things, creating. It's like I could erase all these people from my past and feel nothing. Is that bad? I could've gone without knowing a lot of people. It almost feels like a cleansing experience to get rid of the people who don't matter. I want to surround myself with good people who are actually worth knowing. I feel like it's time for a Facebook friend purge. A delete button frenzy. Congrats if you make the cut.
In other news........
I got new boots. It was my Christmas present to me. :)
And Someone commissioned this painting from me! It's my first sold painting. Becca Kinkoph original! haha :)
And I also painted this! Just for fun though, it wasn't sold.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
mmm, comfy sweaters, cozy scarves, and coffee. i love fall.
don't mind the over flowing trash cans. pay attention to that delicious leather vintage coach purse i found at the goodwill. i love camel brown leather in the fall. camel brown boots, camel brown purse.
so i've been really into photo-editing stuff lately. this is my latest creation. i'd like to think if i did live in my own little world, it'd look a bit like this. it makes me think of the belle and sebastian song that says: "color my life with the chaos of trouble"
i think that quote describes my life pretty well.
so i'm thinking i might change my major. not really sure what i want out of life yet, but i supposed i'll know when i find it. i guess i'm still searching. i feel like things are changing so quickly, it's hard to keep up. before i know it everything's going to be past tense, so i suppose i'll revel in it while it's happening. enjoy the moment. there's this matt and kim quote i like a lot:
"thinking about tomorrow won't change how i feel today"
basically that's how i feel right now.
I'm going to start painting again, i miss it.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
12x16 Decoupage Collage
"the world at large"
16x20 Acrylic Painting
"swirly tea cup"
16x20 Acrylic Painting
"a tribute to Mr. Troubles the schnauzer"
16x20 Acrylic Painting
"happiness is free"
All prices are negotiable from the amount listed.
if you'd like to help me pay for college, just contact me via facebook or email me at
I'm also going to post up some pictures of some jewelry items that used to be in my online store which I will also be selling. :)
BECCA NEEDS MONEY,
so if you like anything or want to discuss price just let me know!
Always with love,
Thursday, August 26, 2010
In my crappy non-air conditioned dorm in LaFollette complex of Ball State University, I find a new level of responsibility and freedom. These two things unfortunately seem to go hand in hand. With more freedom comes more responsibilities and I somewhat hate this fact.
that's what I say.
Sometimes I wish things in life weren't so complicated. I feel that things have gotten so complex that I don't even really know what I feel or think anymore. I guess living in the moment is key, and that's one thing I've always had trouble doing. I worry too much about the future, but this summer I've realized a lot of things. I guess they could be summed up in these 4 things.
1. Live and let live: you can't change people so don't waste your time. Conflict isn't worth it.
2. No regrets: you can't change the past so you might as well consider the good AND bad worth it. if not as a learning experience, then a good story or chapter in life. The tough times add character I suppose.
3. Don't wait around: life doesn't find you, you must seek it out. find the good things and revel in them no matter how simplistic they may seem. Live it up, be free.
4. Happiness is found within: the imperfections and hardships you go through don't determine my state of happiness. I do.
Another picture from Brayton Hall room 820. Isn't our bird theme sweet? I think the bird decal mirror sticker thingamajigs are my favorite with the christmas lights adorning the northeast side of our room coming in a very close second. I guess I'll get used to living in this small room.
I don't think I'll ever get used to the strange occurrence of time though. It's weird to think I was once just a kid with dreams of being an adult and now I am one. I'll never get over how quickly time flies by.
And sometimes I wonder if I'm making the right decisions with my life. I wonder what my future holds and if I'll ever be completely content with my surroundings and the world at large. probably not. I wonder if I'll look back on my life and wish I'd done things differently. sometimes just I wonder. I can't help it.
I wonder what it's like to be an old person, just because I feel like I've seen a small glimpse of what they must feel. I don't have my whole life ahead of me now, I have a lot of life left, but I've lived almost a good two decades already. Time, it's crazy.
Also, I wish I knew all the answers. Sometimes I just wish I had a "life" traffic director telling me which things to let go, which way to head, when to stop, when to slow down. I guess that's part of that whole self responsibility thing that I despise so much. It's probably time for me to be my own "life" traffic director I suppose. Growing up is so weird. I don't like it.
So I had to stay at my grandma's house for a few days two weeks ago. There's something about her, and her house, and seeing her, being around her. It sort of freaks me out. She never changes. She's perfectly content with the mundane little activities that collectively make up her life.
reading, getting the newspaper, gardening, reading the newspaper, more gardening, going to the library, eating sugar free ice cream and taking vitamins. going to church. simplicity.
but even as boring as her daily activities are, she still seems to hold so much wisdom. I love my grandma, and I wonder sometimes. I don't really know what I wonder about. I guess just her life in general. She was in the air force, she had friends, she traveled. I guess I wonder what she thinks when she looks back on her life. Does she feel like she did it right? Is she happy where she is now?
I don't know.
I think I have acute anxiety.
I worry too much
and I ramble.
and I ramble.
just sort of speaking my mind I guess
Thursday, June 24, 2010
vintage coach bag that I thriftily found at Goodwill a while back, new lace up/peep toe/camel brown heals from charlette russe, dusty blue studded t-shirt (I'm on a big T-shirt kick lately. esp the big plain comfy ones, or the V-neck kind with the lil front pocket), and skinny jeans with studs on outer seam.
mmm, clothes are fun. :)
Saturday, June 19, 2010
So, I finally added onto my tattoo. Unfortunately i had a bit of a bad experience though. I went to the same place I'd gone to before, Artistic Design, because they're certified and what not. However, the guy apparently dug way far into my skin so it scabbed over really bad. Also, they didn't tell me anything about how to take care of it. I even asked and they were like, "yeah, just put lotion on it." assholes. so, it started to hurt really bad and i had some tattoo knowledgeable friends look at it. They said it looked horrible and I needed to keep it moist and what not and how it was going to scar and be faded. Which really scared me. So i went to a different tattoo parlor. They were so much more professional and even gave me a pamphlet on all the right types of lotion and ointment. So, now I am nursing my poor little birdy tattoos back to health. Hopefully it won't scar up too horribly. I'll have to get them touched up for sure though.
Also, at the end of the school year there is always a huge art show. I got to be in it and demonstrate oil painting, had my own little table and everything. :D It was fun.
Then came Graduation! AH. and my open house was today, quite a success I might add. We had a chocolate fondu fountain and everything. I just felt so weird at graduation though, it really did not sink in and still hasn't really. I guess when I go to college in the fall it will HAVE to sink in. lol.
This was at the Egyptian, a hookah bar in Broadripple. Went with some friends a week or so before graduation I think.
HA! andddd, I finally got my macbook pro. LOVE. It's true love. I never knew there was such a strong love until I got this computer. It's like a best friend, pet, and lover all in one. Ah, technology is grand. So I took this picture with good ol' mac. The little vest thingy though? you can't see it very well, but i made that. It was a cardigan but it just looked funny, so I altered it into a nifty little vest. You like? I like. :)
I know it's been a while, but if I do have any readers left...
thanks for reading lovelies.
With much love,
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
THE STORM. It arrived last week, deposited it's fluffy white matter, and has yet to leave. I ask myself this: What ever happened to Global Warming?? This year has definitely deminished that myth. Although the cold, wetness is a bit miserable, there is beauty in it. I came home one day and there were little birdy foot prints all along my porch. :)
The sunshine was trying to peer through a little bit.
And this is my painting that I finally finished. It pretty much parallels the idea I want for my tattoo. Hahaha, funny story. My old washed up art teacher pretty much told me that it's not REAL art. I know she's just a crazy old lady and everyone told me not to listen to her, but it just made me so mad. I put a lot of time and effort into that painting and it means a lot to me and for her to just say it wasn't anything hurt. BUT, whatever. Not that her opinion really matters anyways.
I also found out that I'm accepted to Ball State and I have to get a portfolio together to be accepted into their art program. I'm double majoring in Apparel Design and Fashion Merchandising and then minoring in Photojournalism. I figure with that kind of schooling I could do a variety of things. Best to keep the options open.
Have a lovely, snowing week! depending on where you live.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
So I have this love of thrift shopping. I call it love, others might say addiction, or obsession. I don't consider it either of those though. I lovee to look through the little junk sections at Goodwill and other thrift shops. A while back I found this adorable little tea cup. :) I love it. It just looks so antique-y with that shabby chic touch.
Along with the tea cup find, I pretty much hit GOLD.
Vintage is good; Vintage Coach is gold, especially when found at Goodwill for like 20 bucks.
There is a God! and he loves me I guess.
Oh wait, did I say two vintage coach purses? My mistake.
TWO vintage coach purses! count 'em.
Well, here they are:
Best thrift shopping day of my life.
just thought I'd share. :)
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Even when I was a kid, I always remember having this wonderful fascination with Audrey Hepburn. Not the cliche kind where people only see her as an icon, and not just a sense of admiration, but almost like I knew her and could relate.
I think it all started when I was a little kid staying at my grandma's apartment with my sister. We'd stay up late and watch Audrey Hepburn movies: Breakfast at Tiffany's, My Fair Lady, and the one I remember the most, Funny Face.
Audrey Hepburn was always one of my grandma's favorite actresses. Watching those movies with her is one of the only vivid memories I have left since she got bad. My grandma has Alzheimer's disease now, and isn't really all there. It's weird seeing her like that, because it almost seems like she's always been like that, even though I know she hasn't. I feel like I'm forgetting all the real memories I have with her. And that's one reason I love Audrey Hepburn movies.
So I guess the movies hold a certain sentimental value too. And the thing I like about all old movies- how you feel like nothing could ever go wrong, you feel warm and cozy inside, everything so simple and black and white.
I think she's wonderful! I just absolutely love her. Everything about her.
She was classy, chic, and surprisingly down to earth.
I think what I love most about her though is that she just seemed like an everyday normal person. Someone I could meet in real life. She didn't let Hollywood go to her head. I guess she was humble. yeah. And I like that. I think it's incredibly important to be humble.
So whenever I have one of those days where I feel like nothing is right, I come home, make some tea, and watch my favorite Hepburn movie, Breakfast at Tiffany's.
"Nothing bad can happen to you in a place like Tiffany's"
Thanks for reading, and have a lovely day! :)